Croniques de la planète « ComplicAction »

17 ottobre

La cliente: “Buongiorno, mi scusi, ecco, io ho comprato questa mongolfiera, vede, però io ho preso l’orso mentre adesso vorrei quella con Babbo Natale!”
L’inserviente: “Eh, ma quella che ha, l’ha già pagata!”
La cliente (incitata da un’amica): “Sì, lo so, ma lei ha l’aria di essere gentile, e ho visto che ci sono le mongolfiere con Babbo Natale in vetrina, è lì vicino…potrebbe farmi un favore, no? Sì?” (Ammiccando con aria viziata, supportata dai sorrisi e dagli incoraggiamenti dell’amica).
L’inserviente (con le spalle al muro, viste le insistenze veramente pressanti delle due clienti): “Beh, vado a vedere un attimo…”
Le cliente: “Sìiiii, grazie milleeeee”
L’amica della cliente: “Visto, te l’avevo detto che aveva l’aria gentile!!!”
L’inserviente si avvicina alle mongolfiere esposte in vetrina e ne acchiappa una con Babbo Natale. “Ecco a Lei!”
La cliente: “Beh, ma non proprio quello eh, non vede, è brutto, è tutto pieno di pelucchi…”
e comincia nervosamente a toglierli. Lo so, sono una “cagacazzi” “merdosa”, ma cosa vuole, lo so che sono una “merdosa”, eh sì…
L’inserviente: “Ne vuole un altro?”
La cliente: “Sì, un altro, grazieeeeee…lo so, sono una “merdosa”, cosa vuole, sono una “merdosa””….
L’inserviente afferra un altro Babbo Natale in mongolfiera : “Questo va bene?”
La cliente: “Siiiiiiii, grazie, grazie, grazie, questo è perfetto…., grazie, grazie.”
L’amica ammicca ed escono soddisfatte.
L’inserviente riposiziona l’orso sulla mongolfiera al posto del Babbo Natale.

17 octobre

La cliente: “Bonjour, désolé de vous déranger, mais, j’ai acheté cette montgolfière ici, mais vous voyez, il y a un ours, mais moi, je voudrais bien celle avec le Père Noël!”
L’employé: “Eh oui, mais celle-là, vous l’avez déjà payé, Madame!”
La cliente (incité par une amie): “Oui, je sais, mais vous avez l’air d’être gentil, et j’ai vu qu’il y a des montgolfières avec Père Noël en vitrine, il est si proche…vous pouvez m’aider, non? Oui?” (en faisant un clin d’oeil avec un air gâté, encouragé par les sourires et les encouragements de son amie).
L’employé (en difficulté, vu les insistances vraiment pressantes des deux clientes): “Eh bien, je vais voir un instant…”
La cliente: “Ouiiii, merci beaucoup!”
L’amie: “T’as vu? Je te l’avais dit qu’il avait l’air gentil!!!”
L’employé s’approche aux montgolfières exposées en vitrine et il en saisi une avec le Père Noël. “Voilà, tenez…”
La cliente: “Mais non, pas vraiment celui-là, vous n’avez pas vu? Il est moche, il est tout plein de petits poils…”
Elle commence nerveusement à les arracher. “Oui, je sais, je suis chiante, oui, je sais, je suis vraiment chiante, eh oui…”
L’employé: “Vous en voulez en autre?”
La cliente: “Oui, un autre, merciiiiiii…je sais, je suis chiante, qu’est-ce que voulez-vous, je suis chiante, eh?…”
L’employé saisi un autre Père Noël en montgolfière: “Celui-ci, ça va bien?”
La cliente: “Ouiiiiii, merci, merci, il est parfait!….merci, merci!”
L’amie fait un clin d’oeil et les deux sortent du magasin satisfaites.
L’employé replace l’ours sur la montgolfière à la place du Père Noël.

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